A Tribute To My Great Friends .....

Very much a random blog and steering a little off-course from why this blog was set but bear with me I will get to the point.....eventually!!

I got to thinking as there have been a few little things to happen to me recently that have not just made me smile but the action utterly shines love onto our lives. It's mostly the small stuff that sometimes can make or break your day and I am very much into concentrating on the good stuff.

I feel lucky. Lucky that whilst I have a rather small circle of great friends they are truly great - we're talking friends that even when you are in the wrong will defend you and still keep your secrets. I was once told when I was a child that you are lucky if you can count great friends in your life on one hand. I can; therefore, I am lucky. One of my dreams in life is to become this domestic goddess whilst enjoying my work and raising a family (someday, we hope) as you can all tell this is going to take sometime, I was not born into that sort of life naturally but I am happy to state that my great friends instead of dismissing my dream support me, whether they 'get' it or not!

Last month Henri and I received an enormous package from New York. (Am pretty proud of myself for waiting 3 hours until Henri got home before I opened it!) It was from a beautiful couple we met on our honeymoon that have become instrumental in our lives; Vicki and George. Inside this gift box was for me some books to help on my various journeys, a beautifully written card and other beautiful little trinkets that I will treasure - incredibly thoughtful and touching. For Henri a gift with a hand written note that brought tears to his eyes it was so special - a gift that couldn't be bought, a gift that means the world to Henri. Digby also not left out, had a shiny new diamante collar (one he won't be wearing everyday as he rolls continually in muddy water!) Then on a separate occasion one Saturday in May I received a bouquet of flowers from one of my rocks in life; Tot. These were no ordinary flowers but a huge bouquet of flowers replicating the blooms from my wedding hand tie - the very same wedding hand tie that I gave her on our wedding day, the very day that they were engaged. These flowers will never be forgotten; it has created another unspoken bond between us and the warmth I feel for her sending those to me is not possible to fully express - it's a love that means we will always read each other in a way no one else in my life will.


The 'good' deeds we've recently experienced from friends when we've been struggling with life make me realise that you cannot go through life without great friends. Our friend Ian giving his time freely to help us through sticky financial problems that were reducing me to tears and Henri to depression; thanks to his words and advice and guidance we are on a fast road to recovery. Two fabulous people, Louise and Liam for treating us to the most exquisite food in a well known restaurant in New York that we'd never have been able to afford had they not shared with us. Lou J who worked with me as my assistant; she took the time to get to really know me and always tries to help where she can. Sipi, a dear friend who despite living in another country would literally do anything for us within his capability; his words of wisdom are invaluable. So many more .... I am lucky to have so many that I am not able to mention them all by name.

I recently was able to give back. My life long friend Emma; we went to school together, shared London together and know every inch of each others thought processes. Her soul mate and husband had to go through open-heart surgery and she found herself in alien accommodation in a city she doesn't know. Being there for her when he was in surgery, walking into ITU with her, holding her as she took in the tubes and the enormity of what she was faced with, reminding her of the positives. Giving back is so very rewarding. All my great friends would do it for me and I would without question do it for them.


I don't see or talk to a lot of my close friends often, day to day life has taken over so very much and many friends live far away from us. For one thing I hate the telephone with a passion - I prefer the written word, old fashioned cards and letters or meeting up and seeing friends. We always pick up where we left off no matter how long it's been.

To all my great friends, thank you. For everything. For being you. xxx

Life's little hurdles ...

So now I have 'ousted' Henri and I and our journey is public here comes the first instalment!!
After over a year with the fertility clinic; my first operation date has come through. There are two important reasons for having this operation done; it could improve our chances to naturally conceive and second it will eliminate our monthly pain. Yes 'our'. It's so painful that I can end up literally screaming and writhing around in bed for hours, for some reason it only arrives in the middle of the night and stays for 2 whole days and 2 whole nights - Henri ends up resembling a zombie over that 'period'! He's such a great husband as in the dead of the night he's making tea, administering pain killers and making hot water bottles (a killer in this British summer!) Not to mention Digby getting himself all anxious and trying to climb on the bed to lick my face, as if this would make it all better!! This weekend that time had come around again and we had new neighbours move in on Saturday - God only knows what they thought was going on!
So, in two weeks this Wednesday, I will be going into hospital for day surgery. No matter how hard I've tried to get out of this operation and no amount of protests have been met with sympathy from our specialist or my husband. I need it done. I am absolutely petrified. This fear comes from never having been through an operation and childhood memories of my little sister going in for operations and her heart stopping beating from allergic reactions to the anaesthetic. What if mine stops beating? What if they can't start it again? What if something goes wrong? Now those are the more serious questions I have. My other rather odd worry is that I am not sure I can handle the fact that lots of people I don't know will be all staring at me. I mean what do I look like asleep? When I got married my main concern was people staring at me as I walked down the aisle ...... honestly, as if the woman in the white dress isn't going to get stared at?! I went to great lengths to try to hide even just a little bit like sending my paige boys down the aisle first (for the awww factor) followed by my sister and I asked my father to walk as quickly as humanly possible to get to the front! I guess I am uncomfortable with being centre of attention despite my loud exterior! As hilarious as many find this 'worry', it is a real worry for me. Will I snore? Gah.... the embarrassment. Henri says this is the control freak in me. Control freak honestly (secretly I know he is absolutely right - what I can't control gives me the hibbie jibbies!)
Let's face it, I go in pain free and come out full of pain. What's not to concern me? And don't get me even started on the having to take seven days off to recover....apparently am not allowed to operate machinery for seven days either and that includes the cooker! A wife's dream? Not mine, Henri in the kitchen??? Next you'll be telling me he can drive a car too! And my running, that will suffer.....I can see I am going to be a joy to live with over the next few weeks!
All this and yet there is the voice inside me that's calm - it's a small voice, one that I can barely hear - this voice tells me that if this is what I have to do to get to a maybe, to just increase that 1% chance that we could have a family then really, that's ok with me.